July 8, 2012

Online casual dating sites can help to overcome anxiety and embarrassment

Before I started using online casual dating sites my confidence was on the floor. I hadn’t had a relationship in years and I felt, wholeheartedly, that I was about as attractive as the Bride of Frankenstein. Frequently, I envisaged my future as the archetypal spinster in her rocking chair surrounded by cats. I tried to convince myself that I was OK with this fate, all the while hoping that my knight in shining armour was just around the corner.

But then years had already gone by and no such knight had materialised. The passive, let’s-just-leave-it-up-to-fate approach was, evidently, not working. I could either take the plunge and join an online dating site or risk however many more years on my lonesome. Like most things in life, being on an online dating site was a learning curve. Here are some things I learned along the way.

Taking risks is empowering
When I say taking risks I mean stepping out of your comfort zone rather than, say, blowing your life savings down the bookie’s. It might take some bravery to set up your profile and put yourself out there. The first time somebody messaged me I was so surprised I slammed the lid of the laptop shut in shock.

But by facing situations that intimidated me I learned that, actually, there was no reason to be phased. The first time I went on a date I felt sick to my stomach with nerves. Hours later, coming home after a really fun date, I realised meeting someone new was exciting. I felt proud of myself and I looked forward to doing it again.

There’s no need to be embarrassed
Online dating sites are about meeting new people that you would otherwise not get to meet. Many find that they just don’t get the opportunity to meet that potential love interest in the course of their normal week. Online casual dating sites are a way of advertising the fact that you’re single. A friend once told me, if you want to sell your house you need a sign in your window.

It’s about being true to yourself
Dating casually online can be really self-affirming. It makes you think about what you value most in life, what you’re good at, and what makes you happy. I found that by simply being myself plenty of people wanted to date me. And by staying positive and persevering I finally found my knight.

Filed under: Online dating — admin @ 9:57 am

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